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In my opinion, relationships are getting harder. Even more so, recognizing it’s time to say goodbye to someone you once loved (or are still in love with) can be extremely challenging even when you know it’s the right thing to do.
1. If you love someone let them go
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Even though it is kind of a cliché, it is completely valid. If you love someone and they don’t take the effort to be in your life, they are not worth it in the end. If someone really wanted you to be in their life, they will stop at nothing to be a part of it.
2. Write it down
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Even though it was a big plot line on Friends how horrible pro/con lists are, I have to disagree. It is perfectly okay to write everything down because sometimes things don’t make complete sense in your mind. The only thing is, keep these thoughts to yourself. Write it down just for you, not a fun thing for your friends and you to write to bash an ex.
3. Listen to your friends, but trust your feelings over theirs
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Friends, they sometimes know exactly what they are talking about, but sometimes they can cloud your judgment and make you feel a certain way about your past relationship. Also, the best way to get over someone is to stop talking about them. If you can’t get your mind off of someone, talking to your friends about it for hours may not help you let go. Talk about it for a little, then move on to a happier subject.
4. If you promise to stay friends, don’t do it right away
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Personally, I think if you truly did love this person and saw a future with them, it is best to completely cut ties. Nothing good comes from checking in on an ex or seeing them on your social media feed. But, if you want to stay in eachother’s lives wait a little for everything to settle. There’s no need to instantly be great friends with an ex, give it a little time and figure out if they’re someone you need in your life.
5. Distractions are the best thing ever
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I’m going to leave this one up to you for interpretation. You can either take that painting class you’ve always wanted to take, or leave your number for that cute waiter. When you end a relationship, you’re going to miss having that love, someone that’s always there to talk to, so distract yourself.
6. Take all the time you need
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We all know those people who are constantly in relationships, and the reason they’re relationships never last is they never give themselves time to mourn the previous relationship. When a relationship ends, it is important to take all the time you need to move on, which will help you have more of a successful relationship in the future. Whenever I end something, I feel a little pressure from people to just jump right into something.
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Our culture has created these nothing relationships, where people get instant gratification with no feelings or complications. If that is something that works for you, that’s great, but if you’re not about that life, don’t let anyone tell you you need to move on.